Lina: *paying no heed to the director's vain attempts to get everything going* Did I ever tell you about my slayers/x-file crossover?
Zelgadis: Yes.
Lina: I finally finished it today...my first complete fic on my fan site...heh. Did you see that episode...The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas?
Zelgadis: No...
Lina: Oh that's the one I'm basing the cross over on...
Zelgadis: .....
Lina: *knocks head* Probably told you that before...
Zelgadis: *grins* Yes now that I remember it yep you did. Neither one of us has a good memory..... guess I should have a Gourry id instead of Zelgadis...
Lina: *falls over; muffled voice* I must have Gourry syndrome...
Zelgadis: Gourry syndrome... *laughs*
Lina: Well what else could it be???
Zelgadis: I have no clue....
Director: Quiet on the set! Please for the love of God, let's get rollin'!
Lina: *Sees Gourry pacing around in the background. SD Lina runs over to him and whacks him on the head.* See, your stupidity is rubbing off on me!
Gourry: ! *rubs head*
Zelgadis: *lol* *SD Zel goes over and whacks him too* That's for spreading the disease!
Director: *reads over script* Uh...that's not in the script, oh forget it, just keep rolling...
Lina: Ooh! Gee Zel...I didn't think you'd actually do that...hmm monkey see monkey do...heh heh
Zelgadis: *still in SD form* Well I've wanted to do it for awhile now...
Lina: Really? Sure...
Zelgadis: *in squeaky SD form* Well I have!
Lina: Hmm.... Okay *SD form* Then there is something I've wanted to do for a while...
Zelgadis: *sits down in pouting little SD from* What?
Lina: *SD Lina flips Zel over backwards and kisses him* Make Gourry jealous that's what!
Zelgadis: *little SD eyes almost pop out of his head* Wha?
Lina: *SD Lina looks at Gourry* Well?
SD Gourry: Nani...oh sure Lina...
SD Zelgadiss: @_@ Nani?
Lina: Hmm....Zel sure looks stunned....
Zelgadis: *shakes his little SD head* Wow!
Lina: I wonder if Gourry would look the same way? *Flips him over, but she falls over instead and he crushes her* Mmph!
SD Lina: *Eyes bug out* Get off me you dimwit!
Zelgadis: Eep! *jumps up and pulls Gourry off of her*
Lina: *face in dirt* Thamb woo...Vell....
Zelgadis: Lina, you ok? *pulls her up and helps dust her off*
Lina: *is blushing* Yeah...
Zelgadis: You sure? Need a healing spell?
Lina: Um...*blushes redder* Nope ^_^ *SD Lina gets up and brushes self off*
Lina: *Knocks Gourry on the head* That's for falling on me!
Zelgadis: *winces* That looked like it hurt.
Lina: heh
Gourry: I'm numb to it by now....
SD Lina: *smirks* See? *knocks him on the head again* He's numb...
Zelgadis: *eyes widen* Oh.... He's numb and dumb! *laughs*
Lina: Hey Zel, are you numb to whacks on the head too? Let's find out....
Zelgadis: Ack no!
Lina: Oh, wait a minute. I'd break my wrist...never mind...
Zelgadis: *runs*
Lina: Hey come back!
Zelgadis: *peeps out from behind a rock* No!
Lina: But I won't strike you...I will injure myself more than you
Zelgadis: *thinks for a moment* Alright... *comes back out*
Lina: ^_^ *SD Lina whistles at Zel* Come out Zelly...here Zelly!
SD Zel: *growls* Now I know I won't come out! *goes back behind the rock*
Lina: *steams* Why forever not? *thinks* Hmm...if you don't come out I'll kiss you again...
Zelgadis: *pouts* You're mean!
Lina: Mean?
Zelgadis: *stays right where he is pouting*
Lina:...and you are a baby...so there!
Zelgadis: *cringes* Uh oh..... *hears her* Girls.... what a pain... who needs um?
Lina: ~_~ *thinks of a way to get Zel out of hiding* ^_^ *light bulb flashes overhead* Hey Zel, I see Amelia coming this way, and she's bringing a priest with her! *chuckles to self*
SD Zel: *eyes open widely* AHHHHHHHH! *runs out and hides behind Lina*
Lina: *swings around and faces Zel* Heh gotcha....peace?
Zelgadis: *SD Zel* That was cruel!!!
Lina: Well how about a truce? *holds out hand*
Zelgadis: *takes her hand* Alright
Lina: If I say I'm sorry *not that I can think what for* will that help?
Zelgadis: *blinks* Okay! *smiles widely and hugs her* Heh you are like one of my only friends after all...
Lina: Aww, ditto...
Zelgadis: *smiles*
Lina: ...and you are the only other sensible person in this group...
Zelgadis: Your sensible?
Lina: *frowns* Don't push it....*narrows eyes*
Zelgadis: Just kidding
Lina: ^_^
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops*
Lina: *eyes bug out of head* Oh, oh...Zel....Amelia is really coming....look behind you...she has someone in robes following her...ack!
Zelgadis: *blinks* Nani? *screams and then bends Lina back as he kisses her*
Lina: *face turns as red as her hair*
Amelia: *faints*
Lina: *sniffs* I feel so used...
Zelgadis: *pulls her up* Sorry... *frowns and kisses her cheek* I like you Lina.
Lina: *blushes*
Priest: *clears throat*
Zelgadis: *blushes slightly himself then looks up at the priest*
Amelia: *pulls self off the ground and dismisses the priest*
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops* Uh oh...
Amelia: So! Lina...Zel...you two timing....arrggh! *pulls a chunk of her hair out* This is so unjust!
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops again* Sorry Amelia... *begins to tip toe away*
Amelia: *carries on* And to think I was so dedicated to you Zelgadiss...what happened? Thought we had something special...
Lina: *tip toes away too*
Zelgadis: We had nothing Amelia... you had a crush on me... don't mistake it for love.. *rubs his head as he continues to sneak off*
Amelia: So you say, just to get off easily huh? *looks around* Hey! Where'd they go? Zel-sama, Lina?
Zelgadis: *is long gone*
Lina: *catches up with Zel* I'd rather face Naga then Amelia when she's like that!
Zelgadis: *smirks then looks puzzled* Who's Naga?
Lina: Huh? You don't wanna know...and if a big-chested obnoxious woman ever asks you if you've heard of Lina Inverse....say nothing...you hear?
Zelgadis: *blinks* Okay
Lina: She's Amelia's older sister.....
Zelgadis: *cringes* There are two of 'em? I think I'll stay away from the annoying sisters, thank you very much.
Lina: Heh...well I would second that opinion. So now what?
Zelgadis: *grins* All in favor of getting out of here and leaving Gourry to deal with the rampaging Amelia? *raises hand*
Lina: *raises hand* Hai!!!!
Zelgadis: Shush! *puts his finger to his lips* She'll hear you!
Lina: *teases* Let's elope!
Zelgadis: *blushes deeply* Nani? *begins to have breathing problems*
Lina: Hey Zel cool it...sorry I shouldn't joke like that...but not like I was completely joking. ^_^ *looks at the ground*
Zelgadis: *blushes* Oh how so? *looks away and gulps*
Lina: How so what?
Zelgadis: *blinks* I meant... how so as to in what way weren't you completely joking?
Lina: Oh, that's a secret....heh *blush*
Zelgadis: *blinks in shock and then growls* Not funny...*turns away with his arms crossed*
Lina: *starts singing* More than words...
Zelgadis: *blushes and turns towards her* Sorry...
Lina: *still singing* What would you say, if I took those words away. Then it wouldn't make things new...just by saying I love you... *grins and runs off* heh!
Zelgadis: *blushes* Lina... *runs after her*
Lina: *runs as fast as she can go*...Boy, I can see Amelia steaming right now! *to the audience* Is this getting too steamy for you all...folks? heh
Zelgadis: Lina stop.... *pouts* you are so difficult....
Lina: Huh? Lil' ole me? Difficult? *plays innocent*
Zelgadis: *uses his demon speed and grabs her* Oh I think so
Lina: Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeee!
Zelgadis: *puts a hand on her mouth* Hush... Lina you'll get the justice freak over here!
Lina: Sowry *blushes* Hey watch were you put your hands!
Zelgadis: *smiles* No worries... I just don't want my ears bleeding from her... speeches? *blushes deeply* Ack sorry!
Lina: Hmmph...yeah sure you are....
Zelgadis: *blushes deeply and drops her in his embarrassment* Really I am!!!
Lina: *lands face first* Murph...
Zelgadis: Ack! *scoops her up* Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry *hugs her tightly* I'm so sorry Lina-chan... don't hurt me!
Lina: Okay...I don't think I'm really capable of hurting you anyway...*gasp* Zel...can't breath... @_@;;
Zelgadis: *loosens his grip but still holds her* Ack sorry again
Lina: Stop apologizing so much....gee! *sighs*
Zelgadis: Sor- I mean ok
Lina: Nani?
Zelgadis: I won't apologize again.
Lina: Okay *shrugs* You can apologize, but just not so frequently...
Zelgadis: *smiles* Oh but you said to stop...
Off Stage: *Amelia, Gourry & and the crew members sweatdrop heavily*
Amelia: I think I'm gonna be ill...he's my Zelgadiss!
Lina: *stomach announces itself* I'm hungry...all that running worked up an appetite...
Zelgadis: *grins and scoops her up* Okay... I'll take you to a restaurant... where to?
Lina: *blink* You are going to carry me to a restaurant?? *blinkies*
Zelgadis: Sure ... why not *smirks*
Lina: Umm...*if it had been Gourry, she'd be kicking and screaming right now* Umm...how about that place that serves lake dragon? I still would like to try it...
Zelgadis: *raises a stony eyebrow* It takes 6 months to fix the dragon.
Lina: Well, maybe they have some ready...it's been a while since we last came.
Zelgadis: True... but the chef... I don't think he was completely sane. Still, whatever you want.... *takes her to the restaurant*
Lina: *eyes flash open* Oh! Well, if they don't have any, I won't worry about it...wouldn't want to go out on that god awful boat of his...
Zelgadis: We can always see if they do... if not we will find you something else ne?
Lina: yeah... I won't be fussy ^_^
Zelgadis: *smiles* Alright... *chuckles* but Lina Inverse not being fussy? *smirks* It's hard to believe.
Lina: Aww...but I can not be fussy...I just never have before...heh.
zelgadis: *laughs* Well then let's find something to eat before you waste away and can't fight anymore *takes her into the restaurant*
Lina: Hmm...*flips through menu* uh...you can put me down now?
Zelgadis: *blushes and sits her down then takes the seat across from her*
Lina: I'm not that worn out. *grin* Thank you.... *grabs a waiter by the collar* So, have you any Lake Dragon?
Zelgadis: *chuckles and orders some coffee from the waitress* Umm *blinks* Lina shouldn't you ask a little more nicely?
Waiter: *recognizes Lina from last time* Err...miss we are out..again...gomen....
Zelgadis: *eyes widen* Oh no
Lina: *to his surprise she lets him go and represses her disappointment* That's okay...what is your special for today?
Zelgadis: *sighs in relief*
Waiter: *sweatdrops* Today's soup is fresh clam chowder or vegetable...and then we have-
Lina: *doesn't let him finish* I'll start with the clam chowder...
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops*
Lina: *burries her head in the menu*
hmm...hot pot....
or honey ham.....
or roasted turkey in cranberry sauce...
ah...sweet and sour chicken...
hmm...
fish and chips?
*shrugs* *looks at waiter* I'll take a serving of each please...
Zelgadis: *sighs* One thing that is always reliable... your appetite.
Lina: *looks at Zel* Hey you are ordering something...right...or do you wanna make me look like a pig???
Zelgadis: Coffee...
Lina: That's it? Coffee? Coffee my ass...eat something...gads! *head smacks on the table*
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops* I don't need to eat much.... *sighs* alright... a serving of the hot pot please... there happy?
Lina: *brightens up* Yeah! *to audience* Let's add some conflict shall we? *enter chimera hunter* ^_^
Zelgadis: *sighs and waits*
Lina: *blinks* Hey...who is that masked man, er woman, er someone?
*The hooded figure approaches*
Hooded figure: Lina Inverse? I presume?
Zelgadis: *looks up* Nani? *blinks*
Lina: Who wants to know?
Zelgadis: *looks back and forth between the two*
Zinnia: I am Zinnia Elderwood, a bounty hunter. My client has sent me, to bring you to authorities to pay for the damage you did may years back to a certain town...
Lina: Nani`?
Zelgadis: *blinks* Oh great... another conflict....
Lina: *looks at Zel* What did you expect?
Zelgadis: *shrugs and takes his coffee from the waiter and begins to sip it quietly*
Lina: *looks at the hunter* Elderwood? Well, can you let us eat in peace and deal with this afterwards?
Zinnia: *nods and takes a seat next to them*
Lina: *sweatdrops* What are you doing?
Zelgadis: *looks at the hunter from the corner of his eye*
Zinnia: *looks back* I'm sitting here to make sure you don't sneak off Inverse...
Lina: *rolls eyes* I said eat in peace...not have someone staring at us...
Zelgadis: *sighs a bit annoyed* Look Miss.... don't get Lina mad... unless you want to be blown up.
Zinnia: Don't think she could...I have stone skin. *pulls down her hood and face mask*
Zelgadis: *blinks and eyes widen*
Zinnia: What's the matter...chimera...do you find me disturbing?
Lina: *chokes on her soup* Uh...
Zelgadis: *growls slightly* And you think I act bitter Lina?
*Description of Elderwood. Light olive green stone skin, silvery purple hair, sharp grey eyes...five foot four*
Zinnia: *shrugs* Who said I was bitter? *The hunter gets up and moves to another table to keep an eye on them*
Lina: Uh...gee, another humanoid chimera...huh...don't see many of them, do you? *grins at Zelgadiss*
Zelgadis: *sighs and agrees* No, they I thought I was the only one but now... and we have to fight her ne?
Lina: That depends if she challenges us....or not...but most certainly we will end up fighting...don't we always?
Zelgadis: *sighs* True
Lina: Well then...let's finish and get this over with....*gobbles food*
Zelgadis: *eats as quickly as he can*
Zinnia *eyes bug out*
Zelgadis: I'll have heartburn in about 20 minutes now.....*sighs*
Zinnia: Okay you two...let's go take this somewhere outside where no innocent people will get hurt...
Lina: *stands* Hai!*follows the hunter out the door* So Elderwood, what do you want from me? Explain it all...
Zinnia: Call me Zinnia...And I am here to bring you to authorities, willingly or unwillingly to pay for the damage of Saman's town that you demolished with a powerful spell, the dragu slave...
Lina: *drops her mouth open* Sa-Saman??? He still lives...and he wants me to what??? But I saved his town from the black dragon...
Zelgadis: *follows the girls out the door quietly sipping coffee*
Zinnia: Will you come quietly?
Lina: *shrugs* How much do they want?
Zinnia: *mutters some astronomical price*
Lina: *falls on her face* You have to be kidding me!
Zinnia: No *Grins*
Lina: You think that's amusing? Wipe that smug look off your face...
Zelgadis: *watches calmly* I knew that something would finally catch up with you.
Zinnia: Alright then, if you can't pay up...you'll have to do community service...
Lina: Nani???! And Zel you aren't helping...
Zelgadis: *smirks* I saw that town.... that's how I knew how powerful you were... *sips* You should pay back something Lina.
Lina: *considers* Well, I can give you all I have on me...coins and jewels included, but it won't add up to near the amount you ask..
Zinnia: *nods* That's a start...but don't hand it over to me. You have to give it to Saman in person...
Zelgadis: Hey Zinnia.... did you see any bandit gangs around here?
Lina: *sighs* I wasn't planning on going that way...but since you are being so nice...err...I suppose I will go with you...*turns to Zel* What, bandit gangs?
Zinnia: Bandits? Not to my knowledge...I had one task on my mind. and that was tracking you and Lina....
Zelgadis: I heard that there were some bandits in the forest surrounding this town.... Hmm? You were tracking me too?
Zinnia: I apologize to the both of you if I interrupted anything... *blushes lightly*...but I'm just doing my job... Tracking you? Only because you were traveling with her... *replies to Zel*
Lina: *turns red* Eh? Interrupting anything? Uh...not at all...
Zelgadis: *blushes deeply and coughs, turning his head away*
Lina: Bandits, Zel? Hmm...there's a possibility for getting my hands on some more dough.
Zinnia: You are telling me you would attack and steal from bandits rather than turn them in for a possibly greater reward?
Zelgadis: Hey when you need quick cash *shrugs*
Lina: Greater reward? Hmm, that isn't always the case...I prefer my way...
Zelgadis: Besides the rewards are usually less than what the bandits have.
Lina: I don't have time to do that...yeah...let's go get 'em eh? Go back and get 'em eh?
Zelgadis: *nods* Alright...
Lina: You said you saw them or heard about them Zel?
Zelgadis: Heard... they were supposed to be north of the town about one mile... supposed to be vicious man killers...
Lina: Ooh! Okay then let's go get 'em eh? Heh....*runs off in the direction Zel mentioned*
Zelgadis: Lina wait for me... *runs off after her*
Narrator: And so, our heroes doggedly pursue the bandits....
Lina: *glares at narrator*
Narrator: Will Lina, Zel, and the mysterious new chimera hunter find the rascally scoundrels before anyone gets hurt? What will become of heart broken Amelia? Will Wayne and Garth ever find true love? All these questions and more will be answered all this and a bag of chips...in our next hair-raising episode!
Lina: *storms off the set* Alright already! *puts narrator in headlock* You are beginning to annoy me!
Narrator: *chokes* Until next time...stay tuned!
Lina: *Shouts loud enough for anyone within a mile to hear* I think I see something!
Zelgadis: Ack *winces from the sound* Geez, Lina, tell the whole world!
Lina: Well, just wanna give them a fair chance to clear out...heh
Zelgadis: But then they will run with the treasure-
Lina: But we'll catch them no problem...especially since you are fast on your feet...what about you Zinnia?
Zinnia: I'm fast...I have wood sprite in me...so I can dart around at Mazoku-like speed...*grin*
Zelgadis: *sighs and grumbles about how the element of surprise needs to be used more often*
Lina: Fine Zel, next time we'll do it your way...heh
Zelgadis: Uh huh riiiiggghtt, I believe that.. *mutters* in a million years!
Lina: I heard that...seesh
Zinnia: Stop bickering...you two...I see one of them...he's running off in the opposite direction...
Zelgadis: *straightens up* Sorry ma'am
Zinnia: Let's get him...*shoots off*
Zelgadis: *glares then takes the liberty of one moment of immaturity to stick his tongue out at Zinnia* We better catch up to her Lina!
*Seconds later the guy falls over, and a blur takes the form of Zinnia...*
Zelgadis: Uh, never mind.
Zinnia: *brings him to his feet* Okay where is the rest of ya?
Bandit: I won't tell!
Zelgadis: *blinks* My gods... it's like having Lina and Amelia in one person!
Zinnia: Oh yes you will, or I'll hand you over to the bandit killer....
Bandit: Nani?
Zelgadis: *whispers to Lina* And your rep gets better *smirks*
Zinnia: Surely you've heard of Lina Inverse...
Lina: *blinks at Zel*
Zelgadis: You know Lina... perhaps you need to get out of this business and become a housewife *chuckles*
Lina: NANI!!!??? From a mighty sorceress to a housewife...that's a big, big jump...for my ego anyway...
Zelgadis: *laughs* It was a joke! *continues to laugh*
Lina: *makes a face and bops him on the head*
Zelgadis: Ouch... *it actually hurt* *rubs his head*
Zinnia: Ahem! Lina, you do the honors of making this jerk talk, alright?
Zelgadis: *looks at Zinnia and the bandit then to Lina*
Lina: Hmm, you're going soft Zel? I thought you had rock skin...
Zelgadis: Yeah but all the times of hitting Gourry is paying off geez!
Lina: Alright then....hello pal, how would you stand up to a fireball or two?
Zelgadis: !
Lina: Hmm?
Zelgadis: *rubs head as the pain quickly fades*
Bandit: Fireball?! Umm...exactly what do you wanna know....
Lina: Where's the rest of you group?
Bandit: I ain't tellin' nobody that. Do what you will...humph!
Zelgadis: *stands beside Lina with his hands on his hips* I would answer her if I were you...
Lina: Okay, what shall I do with you? hmm...
Bandit: *sweatdrops*
Lina: I got it...wanna wrestle? heh....*grabs him by the right arm and swings him over her head*
Bandit: Aaaaaaaaah!!!!
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops heavily* Lina!!!
Zinnia: *steps out of harms way* Oh my... *says to Zel* Does she always do this?
Zelgadis: *rubs his head as a headache starts* Always
Zinnia: I see... *ducks as the bandit flies over her head*
Lina: *brushes off her hands* Well, now ya gonna talk? I think I went easy on you....
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops again* (sigh)
Bandit: *swirly eyes* Umm okay...
Zelgadis: *sits down and motions for Zinnia to do the same as he watches Lina in action*
Bandit: *sweatdrops at Lina's impatience* Well, we are...*voice trails off to a whisper*...sss ss...sssp...
Lina: Speak up, sheesh!
Zelgadis: *blinks* Oh gods.... this is going to be a long day.
Bandit: *is taken by the collar and shaken like a wet string* Okay! Okay! We are camping a half mile away from here...let me go!
Zelgadis: *stands up* Well then Lina... let's take care of this guy and head off?
Zinnia: *folds her arms* Shouldn't we keep him around to make sure he tells the truth? I'll watch him....
Zelgadis: Alright
Lina: If you wish Zinnia...he's all yours... *tosses the bewildered bandit her way*
Zelgadis: *shrugs* Lina?
Zinnia: *grins* So now you are at my mercy boy! *takes him by the arms and hand cuffs him*
Zelgadis: *smiles* And you say I am... *sighs and takes walking* Let's go
Lina: Huh? Zel what was that???
Zelgadis: *cringes* Nothing Lina
Lina: *shrugs* Okay moving on...
Zelgadis: *smiles and sweatdrops then motions for her to lead*
Narrator: And so the three companions plus one frightened bandit continue on their way to untold adventure....*
Lina: *runs out off the stage and puts the narrator in another headlock* Shut up...you are distracting me!
Zelgadis: *sighs as he looks through his cloak* Aspirin... Aspirin... Aspirin
Narrator: *gasps* Just...doing my...job-missy!
Lina: *lets the poor man go* Well, just don't get carried away... Anyway...like I said...we are off...
Zelgadis: *gets off the stage and gives the guy some Aspirin before following Lina again*
Zinnia: *hums to herself* Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz...
Lina: *looks at Zinnia* Wah?
Zelgadis: *sweatdrops* The wizard of what?
Zinnia: *grins* Nothing... *drags the bandit down the forest path in direction of their camp*
Zelgadis: *blinks and shrugs* *sighs softly feeling his own headache worsening*
Zinnia: Hmm...Lina what will you do to the other bandits?
Lina: *only laughs out loud*
Zinnia: *sweatdrops*
Zelgadis: *seems unphased by the laugh*
Narrator: So, one can only imagine what adventures lie ahead for our fine young heroes. And one will continue to imagine *clears throat* in the event that the Slayers team has refused to act out any further scenes from this plot?
Lina: You are damn right! *tears up script* This is the most ridiculous script, there isn't even a strong plot to it at all...people, you're boring me! *throws her hands in the air* I'll be in my trailer...
Zelgadis: *rubs forehead* Aspirin...
Zinnia: So ends my short-lived career...*sits to the side and sighs*